We are individuals. Connected with different people,societies, groups, relations but still Individuals. Often we complain that we are stressed/hurt because of others. We blame it on our spouse, kids, friends, peers etc. But we never try to think the base of the problem –Our Expectations!
Yeah I know you must be thinking these people are close to us, we did so much for them, it’s their responsibility to listen to us/do as we tell them or we told them to do so as we care about them etc.
All these reasons doesn’t matter actually. The cause of our pain & stress is our expectations from them. Let me tell you, nobody in this world can be bound by anyone.We all have the right to act as we want, though I am not saying that omit your duties at the office or home.The thing is just because someone is close to you it doesn’t mean you have all the rights to restrict their independence or free will.
Don’t push people to act/think or say as per your wish.Not only this will hurt you but also it will push them away from you.Most importantly it will suck your own inner peace, calmness & composure.
Let’s have a look at the benefits of not having expectations from others:
1. Priority & Urgency: Only you can understand the priority & urgency of your work and no one else. If you keep expecting from others to do your work. It’s likely to get delayed, mismanaged or totally forgotten. Other than you nobody can take your work that much seriously. Better to finish most of your urgent work by yourself.
2. Free from Stress: When we expect things from others and they refuse or forget to do so then it creates stress and insecurities in our mind. We create thousands of thoughts over it unnecessarily and keep on thinking about it again and again. The less you expect from others the less stressed you will be.
3. No Hurts: When someone close to us, Spouse, Kids, family, friends, relatives failed to meet our expectations then we feel hurt. Sometimesit’s a small disappointment and sometimes it leads to a chronic heartbreak. So why to give yourself so many negative emotions & traumas, Do not expect in the first place.
4. Healthy Relations: When we impose expectations on people (I am not talking about professional) they feel suffocated. However, they do it anyway because of love/obligation/respect but they do feel uneasy. This creates distance in relations. To pursue loving & healthy relations don’t expect from others, especially your loved ones.
5. Creativity: People who don’t expect from others are more creative than others.They get ample chances/angels to think about their work/project/issue because they know it the best.They put more effort into their work to get done.They work with more efficiency and focus.
I hope, after reading this you will do more and expect less.
Faith n Love